HomeWorld NewsA married couple living in separate NYC apartments say it's done wonders...

A married couple living in separate NYC apartments say it’s done wonders for their relationship

The Akhands have been married for practically seven years, however are selecting to dwell individually.Sana Akhand.

  • A spouse living individually from her husband in New York says it revitalized her marriage and profession.

  • Sana and Adnan Akhand bought married in their twenties and shortly fell right into a rut, she instructed Insider.

  • They began living aside in October, and can accomplish that for a most of three years.

A girl whose video on living separately from her husband in New York City went viral on TikTookay stated it’s labored wonders for their relationship.

“We lived together for 6.5 years before deciding to make our own rules and do what works best for us & our love story,” Sana Akhand wrote in the video posted on January 29, which has amassed over 1 million views on the time of writing.

Sana instructed Insider she bought married to her husband Adnan in their twenties, practically seven years in the past, as a consequence of household stress. “From the moment we had our first kiss to the moment we were married, it was a year and three months,” Sana, who’s South Asian, stated. “In our culture, if you’re out of college, next step is marriage.”

At the time, she stated she needed to deal with her profession however did not need to sacrifice her relationship in the method. Sana and Adnan noticed marriage as a “piece of paper,” and thought to themselves: “How much can life change?'”

Sana and Adnan on their wedding day.

Sana and Adnan Akhand on their marriage ceremony day.Sana Akhand

But they quickly discovered themselves slipping into conventional husband and spouse roles neither of them needed, Sana, 32, stated.

“He had financial burdens on him. I also was like, ‘I’m not contributing equally financially, so let me step into the wife duties of taking care of the house,'” she stated.

As the years rolled on, time with pals disappeared, as did a deal with passions. Sana, who now runs an grownup social group known as Jet Black Social Club and the “Make Your Own Rules” podcast, stated she bought a company job to assist them afford to dwell in New York City.

“We were basically just living for each other versus for ourselves,” she stated. “I was coming home, drinking wine, going to sleep, and I was just so burnt out and he was working from home at the time waiting for me to come home all day.”

To assist their relationship, the primary “drastic” resolution was to give up work and journey the world for a 12 months in 2018, Sana stated. But COVID-19 hit quickly after they returned, and Sana’s emotions of needing area elevated.

Sana and Adnan Akhand.

The couple give up their jobs and traveled the world for a 12 months.Sana Akhand

Conversations about living individually in July grew to become a actuality on October 19, after Adnan requested: “What if we just dated again?”

So they did. Sana stated she now lives on the Upper East Side, whereas Adnan, who works in finance, is quarter-hour away on the Upper West Side.

Their funds are utterly separate, they see one another a couple of days every week for romantic date nights and sleepovers, and are centered on constructing their particular person careers, Sana stated.

Sana and Adnan Akhand.

Sana moved into her personal condo, pictured proper, in October 2021.Sana Akhand

“It really just lit my world back up,” she stated. She added that their intimacy has improved ten-fold: “Whenever we’re about to have a sleepover, I’m like, ‘Oh, let me make sure I’m wearing, like sexy lingerie.”

“When we’re about to see each other after a long day of work, we’re so excited to see each other,” she stated. “Before, it’s like, ‘I had a bad day, leave me alone.'”

Sana says she is not living life primarily based on societal norms

At first, Sana stated she felt alone in their thought to dwell aside. But when she posted the viral TikTookay about their living scenario, she realized that wasn’t the case.

Some individuals questioned their marriage and dedication, however others have come ahead to say they made the identical selection or know individuals who have, she stated.

“It was scary at first,” Sana stated. “But I cannot live my life based on other people’s rules because then I’m not living my life, I’m living someone else’s life. And I never wanna end up on my deathbed where I’m like, ‘Man, I wish I did X, Y, and Z.'”

While Sana and Adnan do miss living collectively and plan to maneuver again in after a most of three years, she stated that for now, “this is working better for our relationship, which is making me love him more.”

Read the unique article on Insider

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